ah, the miseries...

of the common cold. If ever an affliction was euphemised, this is the one. It conjures up images of a nineteenth century lady lying on a chaise longue, gently dabbing an immaculately-ironed, lavender-scented handkerchief at her nose, amidst profuse apologies about not being able to be more useful because of this 'wretched cold'.

Forget romanticism and sanitisation of such plagues - here is my reality: incessant sneezing and snuffling, an aching throat, fever, muzzy head, and - pièce de résistance - a night cough which wakens the neighbourhood and has me retching into the wash hand basin during the wee, small hours, accompanied by the loathsome reminder my pelvic floor has never fully recovered from the exertions of childbirth. The difficulty with the night cough is that it's exacerbated by lying flat and if, like me, you suffer from back problems and sitting up in bed isn't a comfortable option, forget it, as far as sleep goes. Many a time I've sat up until fiveish, knowing there's no point in trying to sleep. For some strange reason - perhaps connected to the power of the moon - by then I'm able to lie down and rest.





I know now that as soon as a head cold appears, the sensible thing is not to insist on business as usual. This noble aim is counter-productive. The well-worn adage 'a stich in time save nine' comes into play. Instead of rushing around, determined not to miss one single day of many and varied activities, I should rest. Equally important, I must stop talking. For me a cold is inevitably followed by the above-mentioned nasty cough.

Communicating by writing is an alternative. When I've announced my intention to do just that, wry smiles bounce between partner and son. Restricted to the written word, I'm less likely to go on about mess, the importance of eating vegetables, adherence to bedtimes and left up loo seats.

I need to bung myself full(ish) of paracetamol, nasal sprays, cough mixture and vitamin C. I should confine activities to lying in bed reading, listening to the radio or sleeping (what bliss), from time to time doing some non-demanding work on the computer. I should make the most of quiet time.



And finally, I need to remember a useful tip for reducing rib pain from frequent coughing: hold a pillow/cushion against me when I cough.

Splutteringly yours


Jane