Today at a writer's lunch, one of my friends stated that I have a lovely relationship with my work, looking at me for confirmation. It made me think. My first reaction, though unspoken, was 'don't you?', but she's told me from time to time that she doesn't like writing, something that for years has surprised me as we met while studying for an MA in Creative Writing, she teaches creating writing classes, and has just completed a PhD, part of which included a novel. The other friend, equally talented, has an up and down relationship with her writing.Several years ago, I conducted a series of interviews with fellow writers. My first question was: 'What does writing mean to you?' Answers were varied but with common themes, such as:
- Everything, a compulsion/obsession, an act of necessity, feelings of deprivation without it
- Freedom: to be myself and say what is in my heart without judgmental attitudes trying to stop me, the only way I can embrace real life and remain whole.
- Imagination: Writing takes me into a whole different world—a world that I create. it can be a vacation without leaving home.
- Therapy: escape after bereavement, perhaps
- Search for connection: It’s a way for a shy person to connect with others - writers, other
readers, quote: 'I’m terrible at small talk, but I can speak to a perfect stranger for
hours about books.'
- Mental health: An antidote to certain insanity. 'All these stories shout for attention in my head.' A way of making sense of the world, for self-preservation
Possible downsides mentioned:
- It’s a job that stays with you every waking second of the day and most of the night.
- Frustration. It’s a Catch-22 between wanting to do nothing else but finding the practice so torturous and unpleasant.
Since I have no practical means of making a living I would rather not be a writer, I would rather do something where I can make a living.
One of the answers I liked best was: It's like having a secret lover. It's a hidden passion full of highs and lows.
I identify with many of the above. Writing also allows the pleasure (and challenge) of crafting a story, a space I can go to that is purely mine and is not determined by money, the cooperation of others, or the weather. In addition, I generally set my novels in other countries, allowing me the opportunity to spend an afternoon in the lakes and mountains of Switzerland while those around me are enduring yet another blustery, wet Scottish afternoon....
It's also something that I always have that can be done anywhere: at a desk, in the back of our van, while peddling on my exercise bike. My laptop goes everywhere with me. Not taking it with me when on holiday, whether it be three weeks or a long weekend, would be unthinkable. It's a large part of my cerebral activity and mental stimulation.
And for me, the downsides include anxiety, vulnerability and disappointment: gearing myself for rejection by agencies and publishers, being upset by a negative review, worrying about receiving a negative review, disappointment at low sales. Not to mention coping with writer's block, something I've occasionally experienced. Coping with this is fine the second time round, by which time you are confident that this is temporary, that with a bit of thinking you might be able to work out what is causing the block: is it something external e.g. an aspect of your personal life which is draining your energy? Is it that you need to radically rethink your current piece of writing?
And contrastingly, the exhilaration - not an overstatement - is.... exhilarating. A five star review, someone telling me they've bought my book and love it, someone asking to interview me on their blog. Being invited to talk to a writing class.
The writer's lot isn't always easy, but as most writers will probably admit: they have no choice, they must write and this need greatly outweighs the drawbacks of the vocation.Jane
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