time for a moan

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that in the writing process, producing the first draft of a novel is easy, even the second one. Doing a major rewrite is challenging and exhilarating. Doing a thorough edit is laborious and time consuming. But the killer stage has to be researching agents/publishers. It is taking weeks trawling through websites. And then there are all the umbrella websites listing other websites. However, for a list geek, there is plenty of scope. Lists of agencies accepting email submissions and what they require; likewise lists of those accepting postal submissions. And finally, a list of all agencies and whether they are suitable to submit to, and if not, why not.

Somewhere in this process, the writing has got lost. Not of the novel I'm submitting, but of the one I am currently working on.

Of course in all this, one of my limitations has been flagged up afresh: I must read more. Then when I look at authors that agents represent, I will know more easily whether my novel fits in.

Apart from the satisfaction of list-producing, finding suitable agencies can be soul-destroying. The first flush of enthusiasm over, the first flush of realism accepted - it ain't easy. I am left with what can feel like an overwhelmingly great admin task. And of course, agencies vary greatly in their communication style. Some suggest they would actually like you to submit your work. Others communicate thinly veiled warnings: we only take on a few new clients each year. Having done the sums: say, 1000 manuscripts or parts thereof received per month, nearly 12,000 per year, for, say, 10 acceptances. This would mean my work has to be better than 11,990 other writers. If I carried around that fact with me, I might give up. Holding on to the knowledge that occasionally an agency has asked to read my complete manuscript provides a modicum of hope. Reading the positive comments received also offers encouragement, even if the decision is not to take my work further.





But there is another source of optimism, I tell myself in more buoyant moments. And that's the ever changing world of publication. Not only can a writer self-publish online now and hope that her books sell well through Amazon and the like, but there is a growing number of e-publishers. So, perhaps the task awaiting me to to revise my expectations. Publish online and see if anyone buys. This requires defeating the devilish voice telling me that this is second rate. I shouldn't view it like this, of course. If an agency tells me they like my writing but don't feel they can (take the risk of) represent me, this is depressing. If, however, online sales tell me that readers - real people - like my book and recommend it to others: this should be the external validation that I require to justify continuing as a writer. The fact that e-publishers exist plays a part in de-stigmatising online publication. And this is how it should be.





Jane