breast aware

I write this knowing it may attract the wrong sort of attention.  Nothing erotic or smutty about what follows: this is a serious post about a serious health issue: breast awareness.  And October being breast awareness month, my post is timely.




How often have I wished I were made of metal, requiring the odd rust-proof treatment but little else.  Throughout most of my adult life, the advised monthly breast check has produced inordinate amounts of anxiety, so much so, that on discussion with my GP, she gave me permission to reduce the checks to every two months.  And of course, this soon lengthened to every three or sometimes four months.  Hmm....

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in her forties.  Following treatment, she had about 12 healthy years before she developed metastases of the bone.  Again, treatment was successful, so much so that eventually she came off medication.  She had a puffy right arm with limited movement, but apart from that she was well.   This was probably the reason that I developed more anxiety than other women, about getting breast cancer.  Certainly, for a while I was considered to be at higher risk than them, until research showed that having only one relative with breast cancer does not increase a woman's risk of developing the condition.

So, breast checks.  Over the years a routine has formed.  Sunday evening is always the day of checking.  After I've checked and found nothing abnormal I experience a high which makes me want to go out and embrace the world, sometimes tempered by my devilish inner voice asking me if I checked adequately enough, taunting me to check again, just to be sure.

For the following weeks I experience high spirits knowing  I won't have to dread the weekend for another six weeks or so, because most of the weekend in question is spoilt - the intermittent remembering that Sunday is the day.  When this weekend draws closer, I find myself making excuses to postpone:  I have social events the following week which I don't want to miss, work I must do, my partner (my rock) will be away - the list is endless.  Eventually I run out of excuses and psych myself up for the activity which gets me more anxious than nearly everything else I can think of.

This said, I have developed a method for doing the check, and am describing this in the hope that it might help other women who experience the same anxiety - or more - as I do.

After the age of 30, most women have breast lumps, the vast majority of which are benign.  Years ago, having become aware that I have lumpy breasts, I drew a diagram of each one, marking what I knew to be normal for me:  little ridges, nodules, zingy lumps.  Then when I checked, if necessary I could refer to this diagram, for reassurance that what I was feeling hadn't changed.  I also decided to listen to soothing music during the check-  somehow this makes me feel calmer, and safer.  Last Sunday I added a new thing:  two calming tablets taken several hours in advance.  And I think I did feel calmer - my heart didn't thud so much when I lay down on my bed to begin my check.

As for the technique itself, this is what I do:

1.   Lying on my bed, with the arm of the breast I'm about to check, above my head, I probe the breast very superficially, to see if any huge lumps have appeared since I last checked (the fact that I fear finding a tomato-sized lump is testimony to the irrational extent of my anxiety).

2. I do the same for the second breast.  Having been reassured to find nothing amiss (yet...), I then lie for a minute or two listening to my music.

3. The second check involves probing more deeply and taking a little bit longer.  Having still found nothing of concern - bearing in mind that I know I am full of lumpy bits, my anxiety levels have reduced further.

4. I take a break, before doing round three, which involves probing a bit further.

5. Round four involves probing a bit more.

6. I then check under my armpits for lumps, and look in the mirror for any difference in shape of either breast.

7. Finally I say out loud "I think I'm okay," cover my breasts with moisturiser, and resume the evening's activities,  infinitely more happy and relaxed than I was an hour before.


GPs conduct a breast check in five minutes or fewer.  My process can take anything from 15 minutes to an hour (if I'm extremely anxious or have found something which I can't instantly reassure myself is normal for me).




There are times, of course, when I ask my GP to check for me, though I try not to do this too often, not because he is reluctant to examine me, but because, as has been pointed out to me, it's all too easy to become addicted to the 'high' I feel after getting the all clear from him, a feeling almost as euphoric as that I experience after having a clear mammogram.

There have been a few occasions, however, when the GP hasn't been sure about something, and I've ended up experiencing acute anxiety until an unscheduled mammogram has been performed and I've been reassured.

Breast awareness isn't something I've discussed much with friends.  I know people who never check, people who give themselves a cursory prod from time to time.  Fear, I reckon, is the deterrent for many women.  With some, perhaps the belief that breast cancer won't happen to them.

Celebrities such as Kylie Minogue and Angelina Jolie help raise awareness of breast cancer and the importance of being breast aware.  This may prompt younger women to take the issue more seriously, which is good.  What most of us need, however, is something to reduce the anxiety associated with checking ourselves.


There are some things we can't control which might increase our likelihood of developing breast cancer.  There are some things we can do to lessen our chances: keeping to a healthy weight; drinking more than five glasses of water daily; breastfeeding for at least three months; exercising regularly; keeping our intake of alcohol very low (some advocate no alcohol).

Comments welcomed!

Jane