furtive glances

There are tacit understandings in our culture. On a bus on your own, if possible you choose a seat with no-one next to you, in a lift you don't stare at the other occupants. If you do either of these things, you make others uncomfortable, you're encroaching on their physical or mental space. I have no recollection of being told any of this, or reading about it, which is why I describe it as a 'tacit understanding'. Somehow I've picked it up.





Likewise in the changing rooms of a public place like a gym or swimming pool, it isn't de rigeur to stare at other people's bodies. Most of these places are single sex, so if you are caught peering, your look might be misinterpreted as fancying the person. You have to be careful. Of course these looks could mean no such thing. You might just be envious. At the gym, after all, you are bound to come across trim, athletic figures. So you might stare at one and think 'I could be the same, if I worked hard enough'. Discretion is required.








Today on my return to the changing rooms from a swim, something different happened. I caught the eye of another fellow changer. Her glance - and no doubt mine - conveyed a paragraph. It said quite clearly:

'Phew, someone else who's overweight. I don't need to feel embarrassed changing beside you. Whereas I would feel embarrassed changing beside most of the other members here. We both are uncomfortable with our size. But we're both doing something about it or else we wouldn't be here.'

And then I nearly laughed as a third woman stepped out of one of the few private changing areas. She was big, too.





Musingly yours

Jane